Remembering the Works of God, Part 2

I am a reflective person, liking often to be still and ponder my recent experiences, to chain events together and muse over them.

I remember dates and years of events important to me, which fill each new year with grateful memories and happy anniversaries. “Do you remember what we were doing on this very day four years ago?” A delightful conversation follows, as we piece together our memories of the day. Or I may say to a friend, “I saw you for the very first time this very day one year ago. Do you remember?” Smiles and laughter dominate our conversation as we remind each other of the preciousness of our friendship, and are amazed to rediscover the insignificant details that occasioned us to form a close bond. Or in a more sober tone, I may say to Mother, “This time two years ago, we were going through this; it seemed so hopeless, but now look how utterly the Lord has turned this around for our good! Praise the Lord!”

Many forget the past over their focus on present and future, but when an hour of darkness comes, when nothing but blind faith in the unseen, when the present seems hopeless, and the future only more so, the memory of God’s unfailing work in the past and the understanding that God knew this time was coming and has been preparing you for it – oblivious though you were – will give you the bold faith to take that step and the unshakable joy to know that this will be yet another testimony of God’s goodness and mercy in your life.

I can only say this because I have found it to be true. When the storm rages in the blackness of night, and I cannot see the Lord for the storm, I know He has me right in the palm of His hand. He covers me with His feathers and under His wings do I trust. For when the storm ceases and the morning awakens, like a quiet sunrise after a hurricane in the night, I arise, safe, unharmed, to behold the destruction and marvel at how untouched I have been. Nay, but rather blessed by the abundance of rain, which is producing for me a harvest of a hundred-fold. The Lord has used the bitter trial to shower me with blessings beyond my understanding.

But will I remember? Or will the next storm, perhaps more violent than the first, invoke an even greater fear?

“Remember His marvelous works that He hath done; His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth..." (Psalm 105:5).

In Praise of My Mother...

You ever wonder what God was thinking when He placed you in your family? I think of my mother, her strength and weaknesses, her faith and fears. I am not worthy to serve beside her. Her heart is utterly selfless, and her life completely defined by her unceasing service of God, her family, and the church. Her dedication to fasting, prayer, and eternal things gives me faith to add my feeble prayers to hers and trust God to intervene. Her untiring, constant efforts to complete real-life, drudging work that I would rather put off until tomorrow never ceases to amaze me. She has the diligence of the woman in Proverbs, “whose candle goeth not out by night;” the persistence of the woman in the parable who continued to cry out to the unjust judge until he finally avenged her; and the faith of the woman of Canaan who said to Jesus after He had basically called her a dog, “Yet the dogs eat of the crumbs that fall from the master’s table.”

So many of her strengths are my own weaknesses. Without her beautiful example always before me, I would probably be a hypocritical jerk. Honestly. She should be the one blogging here right now, and I should be the one doing the laundry. She’s so wise. I cannot take credit for the things I know; they’re not my own, only borrowed.

           

God bless Momma today.

A Heart Pure from Flirtatious, Empy Relationships

“My Daddy will never walk me down the aisle” was one of the most distressing realizations I had the day he died. The thought brought its own outpour of bitter tears. How I had always dreamed of the happy day I would be married! To date, Daddy had always been first in my heart; I had always resolved to never marry someone without his most fervent blessing and his utmost approval. I would think, “Above all things, he MUST get along with my father; my father must like him, respect him, and trust him; or he has no hope of ever winning my affection or regard.”

I remember with a tear or two expressing this to Brent. He laughed, saying, “You don’t need anyone to walk you down the aisle; your five brothers will carry you!” The tears had no room after that, for how could I not laugh at the ridiculous picture his words brought to mind! Brothers can be SO sweet sometimes.

But my thoughts of marriage continued, growing stronger as the days went on and there was no Daddy coming home in the evenings; only Brent and Stephen, and though sweet as they are, they’re still brothers. The enemy does use such times when we’re vulnerable to play with our mind, and I battled as never before with foolish fancies that seemed to appear from nowhere and want to take up residence. I hated them; I refused them; shutting them out again and again, disallowing them to reign in my heart and in my mind. 

We live in a sensual, perverted culture that screams at youth, dictating that they stagger through dozens of different relationships, beginning at age thirteen and on up, until they find The One. And by the way, don’t dare find him (or her) until you’re at least in your twenties! Also, don’t forget, you want to graduate college first and get that high-paying job! With this mentality, who knows how many boyfriends a girl will go through in ten or twelve years? How many hours, days, years wasted on someone who will later be only a scar on her heart? What folly! How pointless, trifling, and vain!

I am not exempt from this culture and its pull. I desire to be married. At times, I covet it. I would love to marry a man who fears God more than man and who loves Him more than pleasures; but, and this I say loudly, I’d rather be attending the Lord without distraction (I Corinthians 7:35) then absorbed in a vain relationship. I’d rather be content with serving my family, unmarried, than discontent with a worldly husband and 2.3 bratty kids demanding children. You see, more than I anything else, I desire to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. Oh, how I do not want to be as the horse and mule which must be controlled by bit and bridle! May I follow the leading of the Lord, willingly, submissively, gladly; and even when I do not understand the bend in the road, may I lean on His understanding, trusting Him to direct me in the path where I can most effectively encourage others in our pilgrim journey!

How can I rejoice in the path before me, and yet still covet marriage so earnestly? It’s a double standard. “Purify your hearts, ye double-minded” (James 4:8) Which I find I must do daily, praying that I not be deceived nor allow my heart to be stolen prematurely. “Guard my heart, O Lord. Change it, renew it, to desire what You desire and to hate what You hate.”

The Book of Revelation speaks of the bride, “who hath made herself ready,” and the bride, “adorned for her husband.” Because I do not yet know what my future husband may need, my focus must be delicately dependent on the Lord’s work in me. He knows all things and knows exactly how to prepare me for what is so unknown and unseen, that I may do him good even now and all the days of my life, doubling his joys, and dividing his sorrows. May God work in me, that I may be strong to conquer all the challenges that await me in my life with him, as his helpmeet. I pray God is even now birthing in him a great mission, great not necessarily in size, but in depth, eternal weight in glory, in everlasting significance.

I do not have an unrealistic, legalist standard, but a Biblical, kingdom-minded one. All preconceived notions and personal preferences aside, my first questions are, “Would this union bring glory to Christ? Would it result in more souls birthed into the Kingdom? Would it be a picture of Christ’s love for His Church? Could I submit to him as the Church is subject to Christ? Would this man’s love for our children be such that their minds may easily draw a parallel between their earthly and heavenly Fathers, and thus be filled with awe of how God the Father must love them?”

For now, my family needs me, and until a godly man needs my help more than my family does, I will continue to joyfully serve the beautiful family the Lord has given me.  

The Love of a Father

Every once in a while, a kind elder brother in the Lord will do or say something that recalls to me, ever so vividly, the beauty of that unique feeling of having an earthly, visible father, that feeling that used to be so constant, that feeling that I sometimes miss with longing.

What security, what confidence, a devoted father provides for a daughter! His very presence equals rest, peace, and assurance. He is protective, shielding her from evil; directive, guiding her daily choices; and instructive, bringing her up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Brought up by such a father, I rarely experienced worry, fear, or stress; but after his death I suddenly had to learn to juggle many new responsibilities, which of themselves were challenging, but without a father’s guidance, weighty and burdensome. I felt lost and confused. I could not trust myself; I know my fleshly nature too well, my selfishness and pride, my laziness and self-indolence. I am so weak, ready to believe all I hear, easily deceived, lacking discernment… Need I go on?

I have been uniquely blessed to have many wise counselors in my life and to them I am very thankful; but I could not single any one out to take my Daddy’s place. I sought for weeks, ever so aimlessly, for someone to fill the gigantic void, someone on whom I could depend to lead me. How painful to realize that not one of the older men I most respected or even all combined could fill the aching void, though I prayed and searched and hoped!

Surely my motive was right. Surely God saw that the desire of my heart was to please Him above all. As I turned in desperation to Him, He opened the eyes of my understanding, shedding light on the darkness of my deception.

“Then opened He their understanding, that they might understand the Scriptures” (Luke 24:45).

Did not HE call Himself the Father to the fatherless? What need had I to rely on fallible man when God had left me such an amazing promise! Finally, completely, I ceased my fruitless search and surrendered to Him my yearning needs that could only be fully satisfied by Himself. I had been needy, foolishly so, like a child refusing to eat the wholesome food placed before him and instead demanding to return to the breast to be nursed again! 

I began writing almost daily, and I’m not talking Facebook status updates. I’m talking me, my Bible, my God, and pencil and paper. Instead of rambling to my Daddy each day, I wrote pages of personal reflections of my hopes and disappointments, of my struggles and victories, of the happenings of each day, and of my questions and doubts. It was almost like a way of communicating to my Heavenly Father. How oft, in my effort to express myself clearly, did the Spirit reveal to me the correlations between what seemed to be random, disconnected incidents, but were providentially ordained by God.

Through my daily writing I perceived that, within the very week of my surrender, God poured His love out to me through a man whom I had never consciously met, but of whom my father had spoken highly. This man and his wife embraced my family with a love that could not be explained nor rationalized, apart from the Lord Jesus.

“By this shall all men know that ye are My disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35).

Being released from my feelings of emptiness, I could rejoice and delight in this unsought loving care shown so generously to me, smiling and happy, and praising God, and yet continue to be content in its absence. I was free to enjoy, but not depend upon, the attention of others. It was like icing on the cake.

I am blessed to count no less than a dozen wise, older men, dear friends God has placed in my life, who show me love in various little ways that I am so quick to notice. Often they wistfully remind me of the blessings of a father. Perhaps the reminder is in the form of words of praise and affirmation, or of gentle correction, or some teasing comment that makes me smile. Perhaps it is a warm embrace, a hearty smile, loving concern for my happiness and welfare, or any one of the millions of ways a father shows love to a daughter. But these no longer sadden me. I rejoice in them as they illuminate to me so beautifully life-size pictures of what the fatherly love of God is like. They are powerful, memorable lessons of Who is on my side:

“A Father of the fatherless, and a Judge of the widows, is God in His holy habitation” (Psalm 68:5).

"The Lord your God is God of gods, and Lord of lords, a great God, a mighty, and a terrible, which regardeth not persons, nor taketh reward: He doth execute the judgment of the fatherless and widow" (Deuteronomy 10:17-18).

To be sacrificially loved by one esteemed as wise and strong, equals security, rest, peace, assurance, confidence. The feelings that kind of love stirs up in me speaks, ever so loudly, of He who loved me before I was lovable and sacrificed all to have fellowship with me; who protects and cherishes me as a daughter and blesses me indescribably.

God has been so faithful. I’m His girl. What have I to fear? My Father owns the world and controls the very beating of every heart. May I be obedient to Him, fully resting in His care, bold, courageous, and strong, unafraid of man, unafraid of suffering, unafraid of the devil’s schemes.

One day I’d like to marry a God-fearing, upright man who will be such a father to our children that their minds may easily draw a parallel between their earthly and heavenly Fathers, and thus be filled with awe of how God the Father must love them.

The Beginning of Knowledge

 

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” (Proverbs 1:7).

What is history apart from God? Is not history, as we find it in the Bible, the story of God’s redemptive plan throughout time, the amazing tale of His providence, mercy, and judgment in the affairs of men and of nations?

And what about geography? Is it aught else but a record of God appointing the bounds of each people’s habitation, by setting up one nation and putting down another, by extending the dominion of one people, and dividing that of another?

And what of economics? Does not the Bible itself teach us that God blesses those who trust and obey Him, but sends curses on those who do not? That the prosperity of the wicked will soon be cut off as the grass, but the righteous will be satisfied in times of famine?

God truly does intervene in the lives of men, and how can one teach these subjects without recognizing His work?

What are biology and science apart from God? Is not biology the exploration of His marvelous design in all of Creation? The world is filled with living testimonies of the everlasting God, the Lord, Maker of earth and all that is therein, who created it not in vain, but made it to be inhabited, and gives breath to all living things.

And does not studying science and the laws of nature, but give one further evidence of the absoluteness of the law of God? It is possible for God to suspend a law of nature, His ordinary course of proceeding, by walking on water, multiplying loaves, healing leprosy, etc. Is it not also possible for God to suspend the law of sin and death by mercifully forgiving us of our transgressions, and restoring us to eternal life with Him?

Apart from God, all learning is but meaningless, idle knowledge that edifies not, but only puffs up. By absorbing this information for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 9 months of the year, for 13 years, each child in the government school system is learning that there is no God, or even if there is, He does not matter.

“Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth” (Ecclesiastes 12:1).

Lastly, what about socialization? Apart from God, is it anything more than foolish children following each other into folly and sin? Though God gives few commands directly to children, He does instruct them to flee youthful lusts, to honor and obey their parents, to respect their elders, and to learn from them. With age comes wisdom, wisdom that must be passed on to next generation. The older must be eager to share it, and the younger must be eager to receive it. This is healthy socialization.

Let us not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds, that we may prove that which is good, acceptable, and perfect, will of God (Romans 12:2).

Delighting in the Lord's Day

One part of God’s perfect design for us, yea, designed even from the beginning, before Adam’s disobedience, and modeled by the Lord Himself during the week of Creation, is one day of rest in seven. It was further commanded on that great day when, amid the exceeding loud blasting of the trumpet, and the smoke ascending as the smoke of a furnace, the Lord descended with fire upon the top of Mount Sinai, and spoke these words, even Ten Commandments, which He later engraved upon stone with His own finger:

“Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: but the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work… For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it” (Exodus 20:8-11).

What tremendous blessings result from obeying this command! Each blessed Lord’s Day, I love resting from my own works, my own concerns and responsibilities, and focusing on His. I try to retire to bed early each Saturday to prepare my mind and rest my body for the coming day, that no fatigue distract me from devoting it fully to Him.
    
My day begins with a joy that continues throughout the course of the day. I sing to myself while readying for the meeting of the church; I pray and meditate on God’s Word during our long ride; I greet everyone with a great smile and hug, enter into worship with a thankful heart, listen eagerly to the sermon, taking extensive notes. The second service I embrace the little ones in the nursery, who are usually delighted to see me; we sing praises to God, and before snack I encourage each one to lisp out his own little prayer. I could go on and on; my day is filled with such delight. After breaking bread with fellow believers, my family goes to meet at another assembling of saints, where God unfailingly imparts to me the grace sufficient for the week ahead. I am always sad when the day is over, but I am also cleansed and renewed, eager to begin a new week of trusting God and serving Him with purity of heart. 

The Lord’s Day is undeniably a very sure way to keep us faithfully following Him. For six days we must labor to provide ourselves with earthly needs like food, shelter, clothing, and transportation, but His day we devote to feeding and clothing our spirit. We reflect on the previous week’s defeats and victories, recognize the Hand of God, repent of our impure hearts, and resolve to overcome. The public worship and praise to God refreshes the heavy spirit and rejoices the weary soul. The preaching of the Word and the sweet fellowship of the saints teach us the ways of God, build our faith, and strengthen us for the challenges of the coming week. Filled with faith, hope, and love, we are ready to face our trials with patience and perseverance.

"A Sabbath well spent brings a week of content
And strength for the toils of the morrow
But a Sabbath profaned, whate'er may be gained
Is a certain forerunner of sorrow."

How inspiring to think every holy, blessed Sabbath of the literal millions and millions of people around the globe, in every time zone, gathering all hours of the day to bring praise to the Almighty God! How it must bless Him! Yet at the same time, I consider how it must also grieve Him to see the countless homes where on His day never a Bible is opened, nor a prayer said, nor a voice uplifted in praise.  

Years ago, when this country reverenced the holy Sabbath, criminals would confess that they began their career of wickedness by a neglect of the duties of the Sabbath and by vicious conduct on that day. I would argue that still today, when men begin neglecting the meeting of the church and instead follow their own pleasure, they stand in danger of neglecting God and turning away from following Him.
 
Notice the extensions of this command:

“In it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates” (Exodus 20:10).

Fathers are commanded not only to honor the day themselves, but also to ensure that their whole household is also honoring it! Wow! When you behold a family convened one day in seven for the purpose of acquainting themselves with truth, you behold a family who weakens the power and breaks the yoke of sin. For how, indeed, can any sin persist long when you are weekly purging it from your heart and life?

"If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on My holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the LORD, honorable; and shalt honor Him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words: then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it” (Isaiah 58:13-14).

This, then, is the spirit of the law, not following all the regulations the unbelieving Pharisees added, but calling the Sabbath a delight and honoring the Lord by not doing our own ways nor finding our own pleasure.